I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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