david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
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