Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize