Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize