Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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