Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
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He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
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I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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