he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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