I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize