im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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