Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize