we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize