She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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