My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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