I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's shark week go big or go home
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize