D3 body, D1 cock
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
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so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
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It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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