dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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