Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
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hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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