just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize