my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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