his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize