Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize