This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize