Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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