You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
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But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
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I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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