She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
This is my gift to your gina
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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