My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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