1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think my fart just growled at me.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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