I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize