Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
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