am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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