all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize