Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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