your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
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