Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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