I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
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Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
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and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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