They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have aggressive nipples.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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