we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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