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i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
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