I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You pole danced in your parka.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize