yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
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Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
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You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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