Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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