there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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