He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
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I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize