I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
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when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
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P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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