I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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