he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
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I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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