Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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