I want to stick my p in your. b.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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