She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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