i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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